I laughed til I stopped: Here's the winner of 2006 Sonoma-Marin Fair World's Ugliest Dog Contest.
ARCHIE
Here’s Archie, my ugly dog. One thing I always hear is “What is that?” and “Are you sure?” whenever I tell people he’s a Chinese crested. I know when people think of Chinese crested dogs they think of the champions with flowing locks and lithe prancing bodies. Even Chinese crested owners are a little taken aback when they find out one of their precious babies could someday evolve into the hairless sausage I have at the end of my leash.
I was lured into taking Archie home when I worked for a local animal shelter. I thought it would be temporary, but when my husband saw Archie it was love at first sight. The shelter gave me $10 for keeping him.
Now when we go out my husband carries Archie in his arms like a baby. When we’re in the pet food store people often think we’re waiting to see the vet in hopes of curing some terrible dog disease. They offer up sympathies “Is it cancer? Will he be okay?” They seem offened when I tell them we’re here for some bacon strips.
In the winter we put a little sweater on him to keep him warm. One time a woman thought my husband was carrying a baby and came up to look at it. She screamed when she saw Archie. I laughed.
People aren’t sure how to pet Archie. With no hair he doesn’t offer up the proper tactile experience. They rub their hand down his back and then look at their palm to make sure a little ugly didn’t rub off and stick to it. I’ve seen a lot of hand sanitizer used when people think my back is turned.
Little kids tend to throw rocks at Archie. Strangers feel no shame looking casually at him and exclaiming “What an ugly dog.” So I figure he must have a shot.
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